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Glee Amazing Race: Eleventh Leg - Memory Task
I am covered in mosquito bites. COVERED. My arms look like a topographic map of the Kunlun Mountains.
Holly's Voiceover
"Ha ha, just imagine if Dudebro were in this leg! They'd probably say something about not knowing that airports have names. That aside, just wait, because there's a task that I would kill to see them do. Or the Bickering Coworkers or AV Club, for that matter."
Memory Task
The easiest airport name by far is Charles de Gaulle; it's like knowing that you should take a wheelbarrow full of meat to the lions. Quinn and Burt both work on that name while Emma and Kurt dig through their bags in search of any identifying information on the airports they visited before.
Still, French names do not appear to be Burt Hummel's specialty. He goes through several spelling attempts before he lands on "Gaulle," and keeps bothering Kurt to see if he's right. Between that and Emma's more precise attention to detail and organization, the ladies pull steadily ahead as they work.
Quinn is in her zone. She plays Words With Friends during boring classes all the time! She can pluck out "Saint" even before Emma identifies it, and a letter is in her hand almost as soon as she realizes she needs a certain letter.
If only those walls weren't between them, she and Kurt would be deathglaring each other so much right now. Emma wholly wants to win, but doesn't have a killer instinct; Burt, by this point, has definitely landed on "the journey, not the destination" as a summary of what's important. (He fears what'll happen with Kurt if he doesn't act like not winning is A-okay.) But even with Burt's restraint, Kurt wants to win while he's in the middle of a competition.
And if you don't know how much Quinn wants to win, well, um, check out a random episode of the show.
It still takes some time to figure out which names are being used and how to spell them, and so Shannon and Carole arrive before the others leave. (Even with Emma's careful organization, Dar es Salaam serving as only a minor factor in getting to their real destination of Ngorongoro meant that it took her quite a while to find a mention of its airport's name.) But that's as close as it gets: Emma and Quinn are done almost as soon as they arrive, and Burt and Kurt follow in fairly short order.
If the Pleasant Middle-Aged Women are going to surge ahead, it won't be on this task. Add in that they're in the worst position for organization and names out of the three, and they finish in worse place than they started. For the moment, it appears to be a race between two teams, who are now on their way to....
Amusing Humiliation Task
In the time-honored tradition of "if you want this Fast Forward, you must shave your heads" and "if anyone wants to proceed, they must spend some time having their body hair ripped free by Brazilian spa techs," it's time to see if people will hesitate when faced with something a bit different than simply "lift this/remember this/carry this."
Holly walks onscreen. She is in a short-sleeved tee plastered with the logo of a band you've never heard of, a black and white scarf looped loosely around her neck, and heavy, dark-rimmed glasses. Her jeans are so tight that they appear to be adhered to her with an industrial sealant. "Teams were told to find the marked cars in the aquarium parking lot, and drive themselves to the Woodley & Bunny Salon on 196 N. 10th Street in Brooklyn."
The camera pulls back to show the streets on a busy, pre-filmed afternoon: hipsters. Hipsters everywhere. They shoot contemptuous looks to the cameras. Network television is so mainstream. They only watch torrented Indonesian soap operas and documentaries on barley.
"Teams must undergo two styling treatments currently en vogue among the local populace: feather extensions and lavender-grey hair streaks." The cameras zoom in on a few people passing by, and sure enough you can make out feathers peeking out from their hair, or strips of hair that look lilac in the afternoon sun. "The feathers will be the appropriate length for the person's hair, and to balance out any time needed to dye longer hair, stylists have been told to use the same amount of dye overall; someone with very long hair might only get a single streak."
Cut to a shot of someone inside the salon, having a stylist carefully adhere an extension to a bit of hair. "Obviously you, uh, need hair to participate in this task, so if one player is a little lacking, the other will have to double up on the treatments." Gee, which team could that mean? (To be fair: Finn would have had to get both the streaks and the feathers, too, unless Puck wanted his entire mohawk to be dyed lilac. And just picture Sue's expression as she realized Figgins could take neither treatment.)
On the one hand, having to have two sets of hands working on a single head, and dealing with both feathers and foils at the same time? That'll be a time suck compared to the work being divided across two heads. On the other, Kurt wouldn't balk at either the feathers or chemicals for hygiene reasons, as Emma might (or might not! up to your votes!). On the third hand, this assumes he's willing to go through the dye job at all without hesitating for his vanity. On the fourth hand, with her new hair, Quinn will look like such a fucking hipster either way she goes, won't she?
Look at how these feather companies are marketing themselves! It's like an entire movie made with Instagram! Hipsters.
The drive is roughly 17 miles long, and at this time of day can be completed in about half an hour assuming one doesn't get lost. (Which, it should be noted, neither of these teams has a history of doing; they've both been established as good with maps. Just laying out the relevant details at this point, for what might be quite the tight race through the end.)
I am really looking forward to the comments on this one.
[Poll #1762011]
Holly's Voiceover
"Ha ha, just imagine if Dudebro were in this leg! They'd probably say something about not knowing that airports have names. That aside, just wait, because there's a task that I would kill to see them do. Or the Bickering Coworkers or AV Club, for that matter."
Memory Task
The easiest airport name by far is Charles de Gaulle; it's like knowing that you should take a wheelbarrow full of meat to the lions. Quinn and Burt both work on that name while Emma and Kurt dig through their bags in search of any identifying information on the airports they visited before.
Still, French names do not appear to be Burt Hummel's specialty. He goes through several spelling attempts before he lands on "Gaulle," and keeps bothering Kurt to see if he's right. Between that and Emma's more precise attention to detail and organization, the ladies pull steadily ahead as they work.
Quinn is in her zone. She plays Words With Friends during boring classes all the time! She can pluck out "Saint" even before Emma identifies it, and a letter is in her hand almost as soon as she realizes she needs a certain letter.
If only those walls weren't between them, she and Kurt would be deathglaring each other so much right now. Emma wholly wants to win, but doesn't have a killer instinct; Burt, by this point, has definitely landed on "the journey, not the destination" as a summary of what's important. (He fears what'll happen with Kurt if he doesn't act like not winning is A-okay.) But even with Burt's restraint, Kurt wants to win while he's in the middle of a competition.
And if you don't know how much Quinn wants to win, well, um, check out a random episode of the show.
It still takes some time to figure out which names are being used and how to spell them, and so Shannon and Carole arrive before the others leave. (Even with Emma's careful organization, Dar es Salaam serving as only a minor factor in getting to their real destination of Ngorongoro meant that it took her quite a while to find a mention of its airport's name.) But that's as close as it gets: Emma and Quinn are done almost as soon as they arrive, and Burt and Kurt follow in fairly short order.
If the Pleasant Middle-Aged Women are going to surge ahead, it won't be on this task. Add in that they're in the worst position for organization and names out of the three, and they finish in worse place than they started. For the moment, it appears to be a race between two teams, who are now on their way to....
Amusing Humiliation Task
In the time-honored tradition of "if you want this Fast Forward, you must shave your heads" and "if anyone wants to proceed, they must spend some time having their body hair ripped free by Brazilian spa techs," it's time to see if people will hesitate when faced with something a bit different than simply "lift this/remember this/carry this."
Holly walks onscreen. She is in a short-sleeved tee plastered with the logo of a band you've never heard of, a black and white scarf looped loosely around her neck, and heavy, dark-rimmed glasses. Her jeans are so tight that they appear to be adhered to her with an industrial sealant. "Teams were told to find the marked cars in the aquarium parking lot, and drive themselves to the Woodley & Bunny Salon on 196 N. 10th Street in Brooklyn."
The camera pulls back to show the streets on a busy, pre-filmed afternoon: hipsters. Hipsters everywhere. They shoot contemptuous looks to the cameras. Network television is so mainstream. They only watch torrented Indonesian soap operas and documentaries on barley.
"Teams must undergo two styling treatments currently en vogue among the local populace: feather extensions and lavender-grey hair streaks." The cameras zoom in on a few people passing by, and sure enough you can make out feathers peeking out from their hair, or strips of hair that look lilac in the afternoon sun. "The feathers will be the appropriate length for the person's hair, and to balance out any time needed to dye longer hair, stylists have been told to use the same amount of dye overall; someone with very long hair might only get a single streak."
Cut to a shot of someone inside the salon, having a stylist carefully adhere an extension to a bit of hair. "Obviously you, uh, need hair to participate in this task, so if one player is a little lacking, the other will have to double up on the treatments." Gee, which team could that mean? (To be fair: Finn would have had to get both the streaks and the feathers, too, unless Puck wanted his entire mohawk to be dyed lilac. And just picture Sue's expression as she realized Figgins could take neither treatment.)
On the one hand, having to have two sets of hands working on a single head, and dealing with both feathers and foils at the same time? That'll be a time suck compared to the work being divided across two heads. On the other, Kurt wouldn't balk at either the feathers or chemicals for hygiene reasons, as Emma might (or might not! up to your votes!). On the third hand, this assumes he's willing to go through the dye job at all without hesitating for his vanity. On the fourth hand, with her new hair, Quinn will look like such a fucking hipster either way she goes, won't she?
Fine Featherheads Presents: a Tea Party from Fine Featherheads on Vimeo.
Look at how these feather companies are marketing themselves! It's like an entire movie made with Instagram! Hipsters.
The drive is roughly 17 miles long, and at this time of day can be completed in about half an hour assuming one doesn't get lost. (Which, it should be noted, neither of these teams has a history of doing; they've both been established as good with maps. Just laying out the relevant details at this point, for what might be quite the tight race through the end.)
I am really looking forward to the comments on this one.
[Poll #1762011]